My Own Little Rez

I might not live in a reservation like Junior did, but I can relate with some of his issues. When I think about my community i can dive into Brighton Park and the areas around 47th and Kedzie. I can talk about how in school I was bullied, like Junior, and often judged by my neighbors. But this time I would like to focus on a community that can relate the most to this, the one I'm part of Mexico. I was born in a small town in Mexico. In this town everyone knows everyone, and if there is a stranger in town, it would be evident very quickly. Just like Junior, we are very close knit, in a good and bad way. The thing about a small knit town is that there is a lot of taboo and judgement. Similar to Junior wanting to leave the reservation, there are many who want to leave the small town with the hope of succeeding. It's not leaving to america, but more of just leaving the town since its rather small and there really isnt much opportunity for pushing further. There is small groups of people who have given up and just resorted to work in town. Don't get me wrong; there is opportunity, but it's limited to those who have the resources. The other thing about the small town is that if you're different, you're bound to get judged and called names. There have been countless times where I've been called out by people who believe females shouldn't have short hair or wear baggy clothes. There's always the group that will stare and want to beat you up for the way you act or look. But like Junior and his rez people, everyone is there for everyone. When there's a Quince or Wedding everyone is usually there or there's a parade for them. The bride or birthday girl walks from the church all the way down the main road and to the Plaza. Most importantly, when there is a funeral, there is always support from others, even if they hate you, they will help you out and leave you alone if needed, just like Junior's Rez family.

Bigger

As I read book three of Native Son I couldn't really find myself to pity Bigger. To me, this was the only way he could see his wrong doings and fix himself, even if it meant death. I understand that his first kill was accidental, but he blew everything out of proportion. His ideas for hiding everything only ended up making him look like a bigger villain (no pun intended.) Now, if Bigger were to feel guilty at the spot instead of trying to make it look like she was never there and he had no part in it, i would've felt compassion. But, it was only after he went on to killing Bessie and finding himself locked up that he began to realize his mistakes. To me, the moment where he realized that he was hurting others and not only himself was where I found him likeable. But i honestly couldn't find myself able to forgive him. I understand his first murder was not intended, but his second one was cold blooded. Not only that, but he saw killing as a way to resolve problems. All I could think off when Bigger was finally facing himself was his mother saying that he will be heading straight to the gallows if he continued his ways, and that's exactly what happened. In the end, I don't really pity Bigger, I actually feel as if his selfish sides and ideas paved his ending. (Except the court had exaggerated by bringing 60 witnesses and adding unnecessary chargers/false accusations)

A Principle To Keep

            If there was a set of principles or principle I would keep it would definitely be to fix mistakes, or at least alleviate them, and I would never change my physical (or mental if it's unreasonable) at all because of other's opinion. For mistakes I know many say that they happen for a reason and you learn from them… but just because they happened, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try not to fix them. I understand that there are situations in which restoring something to its original state would be impossible, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn't try correct it or make it less severe. If I had a bond with a person (weak or strong) and I said something or caused a misunderstanding due to poor wording and failure to emphasize what I really meant, I would try to fix it. Now, I know that the bond may never be the same, but the guilt that I built up will make me feel like a horrible person, and the only way to fix that for me is to attempt and make things better. Even if it was or was not my fault I will most likely take blame and try to fix things. I just can't stand the idea of knowing that I've committed a mistake and yes they do happen for reasons and I can learn off them to fix, or prevent, them the next time I cross across them. But why wait until the next mistake to fix or prevent it? Why not learn by fixing where you went wrong in the first place instead of waiting for another lesson? I would just correct it when it hits and learn as I try to fix it.

            The other thing I will never do is change in physical appearance because of people's opinion. Some of my family members state that growing up in a family with two older brothers I was practically surrounded by 'male' stuff made me look like I what I look, and that that should change. Other people just tell me start acting and dressing like a girl; to change my mindset from midnight blue to pretty pink. They demand that I start acting like a decent girl and dress like one. This is what I honestly dislike and will never listen to. Growing up with brothers did not influence me to be who I am at all. Sure I grew up with guys, but believe me there was a time where I wore dresses and played with barbies. I even owned a pink mustang and mansion. But there came a time where I realized that I liked short hair and hated dresses and skirts. To be honest I would never want to go back to long hair and dresses, they make me feel odd. If someone were to ask to change my appearance because I look like a boy (which is always) I wouldn’t do it. I've had my hair up to my waist and I'll still look like a boy in people eyes. To me, I would rather be comfortable with wearing things that were labeled as "male" stuff than to change my appearance to please people. The same would go with mentality; I'll never change the way I think it's just me. Changing the way I think and act to please others would be like being a barbie. I don’t want to be dressed or a puppet of anyone. I'll never change myself to please others. The only time I will change my mentality is if I have some sort of issue that would send me to a medical ward… but even then I'll still hesitate.

            Overall I know I can never go without attempting to correct my mistakes, even if the outcome only leaves me with a half fixed whatever I was trying to fix. Having something partially fixed or restored will always be better than just not attempting to fix it and leave it unattended. That will link to the fact that my mentality will never change for anyone. And if my mentality won't change to please others, I most definitely won't change my physical appearance for anyone.

Janie

Janie is a rather intriguing to me. As the book progressed her character began to develop and with her character development also came a change in her perception of love and how it works. Although I wouldn't mind talking about Janie's overall character development through the past chapters, but my eyes got caught at the idea of love. From notes and a few things discussed in class the conclusion that one of her dreams, love, had come to an end. What I liked about this concept was that during the reading the author wrote something around the lines of a sun leaving footprints behind after the sun set. This reminded me a lot of Janie's hope for love. When she was fist married off it was at a young age, like that of a sun rise. During this time her idea of love may be compared with that of a happy ending fairy tale. But her first husband had shown her that you just don't fall in love with anyone or love them just because you live with them. She had later fallen in love (because he complimented her and in a sense sweet talked her) with Jody, but as time progressed with him he dint really treat her like the lovebird he was at first. As time progressed with him, like wise to Logan, her love for him died out. But from these two stories I sort of saw Janie and her dream for her true love reach its sunset and then after it died down, it left prints behind. Those prints could give off hope since there was still a possibility of love. Which is the way I see Janie and the story for her love: although she says her love is over there is still the small hope that gives her what it takes to go on and chase it even if she did declare it dead. Every encounter with love is then after that she had more knowledge to go off and try to built a better love along with life. In the end her story so far reminded me of the lyrics to Tablo's song, "Tomorrow," where he says, "Receiving love doesn’t mean you have it." I say this because although she received a form of love from all those men, she didn’t have the love she wanted to obtain so much.

Thankful For Classmates

This is the time of thanks and turkey... but mostly thanks. In 5th period English there's a few classmates I'm very thankful for. Sylvia is probably the biggest one. So props to you Sylvia. I've never been absent to school, but this year I've had a few rough fevers that have prevented me from going to school... or I had field trips. Point is I wasn't able to attend English class a few times. But Sylvia has been there to help catch up with all my homework and class notes, which I really appreciate. She's also kept me company in lunch which I am thankful for. Other than that I'm also very thankful for Yareli, and Lydia for helping me study for test during lunch and sharing their opinions to help me better understand what was going in class. Most Importantly, although he's not a classmate, I would like to thank Mr. McCarthy for being an awesome teacher and making English fun. Happy Thanksgiving guys.

Hemingway

 Ernest, in my opinion had an amazing skill when it came to writing. His ability to innuendo the bigger meanings or events within the story inspired me to do the same. After reading some of his pieces I've realized that he wasn't as bad as others told me he was. Ernest as a writer I enjoyed, with the exception of the bullfighter stories (I don't like bullfights.) Overall his writing was decent and entertaining. 

Ernest as a person I have mix feelings about. Although he seemed to be a good father from what I heard from his biography I was not really fond of his way of life. Although he seemed to be somewhat cool as time progressed and he grew famous I started to notice how he gradually started to change his view on himself and in a way, become more self centered. This could be viewed in both a good and bad way. For me the thing I actually disliked was how many affairs and love lives he developed while still in other relationships or dating. I just didn’t find that to be right at all; it looked a bit selfish to me.

Although I might have thought that wasn’t right of him to do, in a way I saw why he would think like that in the first place. I do know that he’d suffer through several depressions and ultimately died by his own hand. I would understand where he would be coming come since I too used to be in a very depressive state and was suicidal at one point. (Not anymore though.) To be honest no one really experiences it the same way but I would understand the loneliness and all the pain he had gone through.

So when it comes to Ernest I give him props for being a great writer and to an extent a great person. Although he did do some questionable things in during his lifetime it will never take away the fact that he was an amazing writer, and for that I respect him.

6 Word Novels

1.) Dear Genovese, have you found haven?

2.) Hold onto gravity, like Newton’s apple.

3.) Sincerity was powerless, crumbling like sand.

4.) Soundless voices always echoed the loudest.

5.) A white night, painted in blue.

6.) Even the invincible have paper hearts.